National Frying Pan Day
by Tokimeki
Summary: Duo tells a little white lie and it results in National Frying Pan Day... Relena-bashing(literally), 1x2, 3x4.


Title: National Frying Pan Day   
Author: Tamayo   
Pairings: 1+2, 3+4   
Warnings: Relena. Frying Pans >:3 Relena Bashing. Scariness. Duo finally tells a lie(But not a bad one). Shonen-ai, which means guys in love with each other so dont read if ya don't like that stuff! Pink-bashing, though I don't really hate the color. Pink is capitalized throughout the fic as a sign of... scariness. And OOC Heero! That's all, I believe.   
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, I never said I did. Moron.   
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"Hee~ro! HEE~RO!" howled a certain ex-Queen of the World as she walked up to the Winner Estate, dressed in hot PINK from head to toe. She bounced along, her heavily stuffed chest not bouncing like the real thing and also looking very... fake.   
Inside of the Winner Estate, belonging to none-other than Ex-Gundam pilot, Quatre Raberba Winner, one of the inhabitants flinched. Well, more like all of them. And some of Quatre's china broke.   
"She found me..." murmured Heero, frozen with fear. He hated Relena with a passion, but also, he feared her. She was so... PINK. PINK is the only way to describe her, he decided. Because PINK is ugly, and evil, and scary, of course!   
"Knockity-knock, Hee~ro!" the evil, demonic, high-pitched squeal that was Relena's voice floated down the hallway to Heero, and he froze. Ever since the war had ended, she had been stalking him more than ever, and trying to, Heero grimaced at the thought, MARRY HIM.   
Thinking quickly, Heero dashed into Duo's room, and glomped onto his koi, chibifieing and looking ENCREDIBLY kawaii. Duo looked at him for a moment then heard the dreaded voice o' DOOM that belonged to none-other than the Evil Psycho Queen Stalker of the Freak World, Relena Peacecraft.   
"No worries, my friend, 'tis National Frying Pan Day! Whack Relena with a frying pan to your hearts content, today's the day to hurt her with a frying pan in every way!" Duo spoke, in rhyme for some reason[1].   
"o.O Really? This rules!" Heero unchibified, and he and Duo burst into the hallway, running towards the kitchen to fetch frying pans. As they passed Quatre and Trowa, who were sitting on the couch holding hands, Duo yelled out his little rhyme. Quatre and Trowa jumped up to follow the other couple as they yelled out with delight,   
"Time to bash Relena's head in with frying pans! Why, how could we not know it was National Frying Pan Day?"   
The quartet flooded into the kitchen, all arming themselves with frying pans, and then listening for the tell-tale voice of Psycho PINK bitch.   
"Hee~ro! Where are you, my beloved? Don't you know what today is?" yelled Relena, sounding terrifyingly horrible. Heero blinked. She wants me to beat her with a frying pan? This is great! thought Heero, amusedly. All doubt of whether or not the attack on Relena with a frying pan was a good idea or not vanished, although there had barely been any in the first place.   
"Relena," he choked on his next word, "dear... I'm in the kitchen...!"   
Relena came running into the kitchen in that horrible PINK dress of hers. She did not know what was waiting for her...   
As Relena ran in, the four leapt upon her as though they were hungry lions eager for a kill. Relena did not stand a chance as she was beaten harshly with frying pans to the point of near-death. Unfortunately, she fell unconsious and was no longer any fun to beat, so they threw her out the window. Smiling gidily, they all began to rejoice:   
"Relena, Relena! Her and her horrible self! Beat her over the hea~d! 'Til she is nearly dea~d! Throw 'er out a window! Hope that she do burn one day, hope that she do burn! Thank you God, for blessing us with National Frying Pan Day!"   
Duo did not sing the last line. When the others finished, they looked curiously at him. He was blushing, rather sheepishly.   
"You *guys*! You didn't really think there was a Nation Frying Pan Day, did ya? I just wanted Heero to beat on Relena and find out how fun it was! And on another note, today is Valentines Day, guys! A day for love! Relena corrupts love! So we were sort of celebrating Valentines Day anyway..." he blurted out. Everyone laughed a bit and the Heero and Duo disappeared off into Heero's room. And then Trowa and Quatre went back to the couch.   
And all couples in the world lived happily ever after, even me and my boyfriend who gave me Pocky and a plushie for Valentines. The Happy & Sappy End.   
Author's Note:   
[1]: I made it rhyme coz I was slightly sugar high when I wrote this.  
This was written Feb. 14. 2002, when I had the idea of beating my friend with a frying pan coz she was being a loser at school today -_-. But anyway, I hope your Valentines was um, great. Yeah. Great. R & R appriciated, 'specially since it's the first fic I wrote for a while. Please write me a review ^_~!!! 


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